Sunday 13 September 2015

Am I Institutionalized?

It is four in the morning and I’ve still not fallen asleep. I think I have gone crazy, a retard, or maybe I am institutionalized. What is institutionalized, you ask? Institutionalized like Brooks was in — The Shawshank Redemption. I think I’ve become so used to the life in the cubicle that I cannot handle a life this serene. I mean, for God’s sake! I’ve taken this two day leave just to instill some life in me and I am not even able to sleep.

I’ve grown kind of weird these days. At times I want to judge people on scales of logic, science and rationality and at others I just want to sit like how God sits in Christian paintings, up in the heavens, with the earth as his footstool and smile at people caring very less about logic and rationality.

I get up and head outside. The sky is still dark, full of gloomy clouds. Its not looking scary actually. Its looking just like me. I drift towards a nearby hill. Hill stations are beautiful.

I reach the hill top in about half an hour. I see that the trees have started swaying. I think even the hill doesn’t like my being here. Or wait! Maybe it is just welcoming me in its own way. I hear the beautiful sounds of the birds moving out of their nests and flying high in the air in search of food. Food — that’s all what they seek, and we? We seek wealth. And why? To lead a life of luxury. It sounds very ironical though.

I see the environment brighten up a bit. The sun has started to come out of its sleep. I see it coming from far behind the mountains. I think the sun has brought a glad tiding with it. I’ve suddenly started to feel calm and serene. Sometimes I wish that I lived in the era when nobody knew if the earth was flat or a sphere and if the earth went round the sun or vice versa. “Life of a pirate,” as they say. A drop of rain falls from the heaven and tickles my skin. I’ve never felt like this in years.

I’ve learned that the beauty of nature can give you the much needed happiness and resurrect your devastated life and it turns out, I am not that institutionalized after all.


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